Saying Goodbye to 2018

How has it already been almost 1 full week into 2019? Time is flying by and I still feel like I haven’t been able to fully reflect, dissect and move on from 2018.

To be 100% honest, 2018 wasn’t the best year. Don’t get me wrong there were great moments like waking up married to the love of my life on January 1, surf trips to the states, moving to a remote island in the summer and then a small ski town in the fall, and much more. But despite those fun adventures, 2018 brought a lot of stress and anxiety.

I’ve always been a worrier. My mom would constantly tell me “Stacie, stop worrying, everything is going to be fine”, and she was always right, especially when I was stressing over small details that really didn’t matter. I’d like to think that I got better at managing this but around February 2018 something happened and turned last year into one of my harder years so far, and frankly, I still don’t really know what caused it. One theory I have is because my birthday is in February and I was turning 28. For some reason, I’ve always had this ridiculous fear of turning 30. I know 30 isn’t old, but for whatever reason, when I think about turning 30, I have this strange feeling deep in my stomach that I have to accomplish all these things on my life list because something is going to happen. What's going to happen you ask? I have no idea. It’s just this feeling I can’t explain and turning 28 meant I only have 2 years left to do them all.

From the outside, it would have been hard to tell this was happening unless I told you about it. To others who saw my life through social media and quick visits to the island and here or there, it looked like I was living a carefree life with my husband and our dog, moving to new places, experiencing new adventures, starting out own businesses, and living free spirited life. And that's not wrong. We were. But what you couldn’t see were too many moments of doubting myself, the highest anxiety I’d ever felt and stress/panic attacks that left me in tears.

My poor husband. I’m sure this isn’t what he pictured for our first year of marriage bliss. Thankfully, he is the most patient, caring, loving man that supported me through all the highs and lows of 2018, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Am I completely happy and stress/anxiety free? Hell no.

So why am I telling you all this? For a few years now I have wanted to share my life online, through writing and videos, and this is the year I intend to follow through on it, so why not start off by being completely raw and unedited. I know I’m not the only person who feels like this, or feels like 2018 was a crappy year for multiple different reasons, so maybe if you’re reading this and you can related at all, you’ll know you aren’t alone. I have found different techniques, exercises and things that I do that has helped bring me out of my funk year, boosted my motivation and productivity and I want to share all those things with you. Together we can make changes that will help make 2019 our best year yet.

My next few posts I’ll be talking my mini life reset, the goals I have set out for 2019, how I want to be more aligned with the Universe and the daily habits that I want to incorporate into my life to start making positive changes. I’ll also be sharing how I go about creating and putting these into place so you can also set some for yourself and start making 2019 the best year you’ve ever had.

For now I challenge you to write a letter saying goodbye to 2018 and any struggles or challenges you faced. This letter should be for you and your eyes only, so I encourage you to be truthful, honest, and dive deep into this last year. You can use some of the questions below to get you started, but write down whatever you feel needs to get out so you can start 2019 with a clean slate!

- What happened in 2018 that had a negative affect on you? Write down how that made you feel? Now write goodbye to that scenario and those feelings.
- Write down any mistakes or wrong decisions that you made, acknowledge them, and write down what you learnt from each one.
- Continue writing down anything and everything that you want to let go of. Remember it doesn’t have to be a huge, dramatic event for it to have impacted you either.

For example, I wrote about my anxiety, how I bailed on a few key friend events and how that made me feel, not completing goals I set out for 2018 and the disappointment that came along with that, etc.

- Lastly, thank yourself for being strong enough to make it through those challenges and write down how they made you a better, stronger person.

After writing this letter you should feel lighter, refreshed, positive and ready to take on the new year with full force! Feel free to crumple that letter to 2018 and throw it away, rip it into a million pieces, burn it, or stash it away to read at the end of the year to see how far you have come. Whatever makes you feel good.

I’d love to hear how this exercise went for you in the comments below :)

Talk soon,

Stacie